Ok, finally got around to changing the introduction text. But as you can see, I'm too sianz to write a proper one, so am going to blabber on in hopes that you will get an idea of what sort of person I am by guessing. Yeah, the format of this blog is crap. I haven't got around to fixing it. Later lah.. Much later...
Somedays you just feel like a failure to yourself. Like you've been given this much to work with, and you've squandered it all.
Somedays you just know you didn't perform. And the worst feeling is knowing that you could have performed. You could have done it if you had just tried - but you didn't.
Somedays you feel bad. Like you've made too many mistakes, too fast. But do you know what is always the biggest mistake? It's always the not doing anything that you regret the most.
ME signed off at 10:20 PM
Sunday, December 13, 2009
111th entry
Have you ever walked to the dark to cry, and placed a hand over your mouth to hide the gasps of breathing and sobbing, because you don't want anyone to know. Stood up and walked off quickly, because you can feel the tears in your throat; and searched desperately with a calm exterior, because you can feel the shame.
And then in your hidden corner, you cry. It's funny the juxtaposing desires - how desperately you want to keep it a secret, yet at the same time how badly you want a little human comfort.
It all passes quickly enough. After which you rub the redness from your eyes, do a prepping routine and a double check against suspicion - and walk out as the same composed person you walked in as. If nobody saw it, then it didn't happen.
